WARNING: This is a Stallionslaughter album, so swearing and lyrical themes of gore and sexual abuse are abundant. But you knew that already, so click ahead for the review.
5 years since My Little Putrefaction, Stallionslaughter returns with a brand new 7 track album, Equestrian Diabolic! Continuing the heavy sound featured on his previous album, this new one showcases five rebuffed tracks from years before plus two completely new ones! While most of these tracks aren’t “new” per se, they’ve been given a brand new mix and master. Is it worth the listen? Let’s find out…
Kill All Horses
This is the album’s opener and one of two completely new tracks. Compared to the rest of them, Kill All Horses is much softer than everything that follows, utilising a clean guitar sound and sung vocals from Stallionslaughter. It’s pretty atmospheric, especially combined with those wordless harmonies. The lyrics are all about the show’s end and the fandom’s continued strength in numbers. Fantastic opener!
The title track returns with a new mix. For those of you who missed it, this one starts out with nothing but heavy growls before the music bursts right in. The drums and guitars absolutely dominate, with equally heavy lyrical themes. Seriously, this is just about corrupting the innocent inhabitants of Equestria by way of murder and rape, and even features a reference to Cupcakes at one point.
The Only Logical Solution
A tongue-in-cheek song about how to enter a mare’s… heart? Yeah, let’s go with that. This song’s message is simple: if you’re interested in a mare but she’s not interested in you, what do you do? That’s right, rape her! Seriously though, this song is just about raping ponies, with heavy riffs and even a small touch of hip-hop. It’s an oddball combination, but it works! Oh, and there’s even a guest appearance from Wubcake as Twilight Sparkle. A brief but funny cameo!
Wincest (feat. Wubcake)
In which Twilight Sparkle (again played by Wubcake) gets penetrated hardcore by Shining Armor over a three minute long metal instrumental. That’s all there is to it, really.
Vengeance of Tirek
You’re gonna be jumping to this one. Vengeance of Tirek is a bouncy rap metal track about Tirek’s return, an inspiring concept no doubt. He’s come so far since those days. Nevertheless, this one shows off his diversity with bouncy riffs, death growls, clean singing and rapping all in one track.
It’s not enough to sing “sweep” over a bouncy EDM instrumental (that’s not what creating a remix is, Twilight). Stallionslaughter decided to create a sweepfest fit for the moshpit with nothing but heaviness! If this is what sweeping is all about, I’m all for it.
Fuck You (and the Horse)
And so, we’ve come to the album’s closer (and the second of two new tracks), and surprise surprise, it’s about having sex with horses. He takes this concept and develops it into a metal song flawlessly. I feel like I shouldn’t enjoy this, but by Celestia I do! Expect to hear a lot of references to horsecocks and horse pussy. It’s what Equestria’s all about in this horse’s eyes. What more could you ask for?
So all in all, this album is heavy front to back and features a varied set of metal styles combined into one unique package. While the subject material may be a turn off for most, the music is fun and played expertly, and the vocals are absolutely on point. If you like your metal brutal however, you’ll be hooked on this.